A is for the author (you!)

Pen tucked behind your ear:

Let’s use your gift to make them laugh, 

Get mad, or shed a tear. 

 

B is for the books you’ll write, 

Your creative spirit, fed.

The story’s waiting, time to start;

It’s anxious to be read!

 

C — the cover. This is where

The first impression’s made. 

There’s nothing quite like walking past

And seeing it displayed. 

 

D is for the dream — your book!

Just flying off the shelves. 

The Today Show calls, you ditch your sweats,

And stay in chic hotels. 

 

E is for the editing

All kinds of writers do.

We tweak the scenes and add a twist

But adverbs we eschew. 

 

*** BONUS ***

Etymology tells us

How fun words got their start.

It says “eschew” is rarely used

And that just breaks my heart. 

 

F is where the fun begins

With author friends we meet.

We understand the highs and lows, 

Elation, and cold feet. 

 

G, the girl who dreamed of writing

Books like ones she’d read. 

Though she’s grown up, you’ve filled her cup;

She’s cheering in your head. 

 

H is for the happy ending

Readers will expect.

We’d rue the day we ended on

A teaser for effect.

 

Idioms are useful tools

To help you turn a phrase.

Euphemisms mask taboo,

And others are clichés. 

 

J is for the jokes, dark humor,

Slapstick, and satire.

Make them laugh and they’ll come back

(Unless they are a crier). 

 

K is for the k*ll*ng off

Of our protagonist

It’s the bravest choice when faced with

writing the plot twist.

 

L, the lazy afternoons 

Spent in our writing chair,

Our laptop open, music on, 

And cheese dust in our hair. 

 

Mmhmm… it’s time to talk about 

The subject we avoid. 

If money keeps your muse inspired,

She’s bound to be annoyed.

 

N is for the naughty books

She’s penned in her fake name.

Regardless how we use our gift,

To waste it is a shame. 

 

Oh the ostentatious voice

That wants to preen and crow,

Unless you’re writing research grants,

Save it for Thoreau. 

 

P is for the sneaky twist

That lurks within the plot.

We find new ways to make them doubt

What’s true… and what is not. 

 

Q: Let’s quickly talk about 

Their thoughts and rhetoric. 

Italicize or not? Who knows!

“She wondered” does the trick.

 

R is for the rhythmic prose 

That pulls the reader in. 

If we write it well, they’ll have to 

Run the wash again. 

 

Style is individual,

Unique as DNA. 

What you might write as comedy,

Is someone’s tragic play. 

 

Titles set the scene for what

The story is about.

They proudly sit and spin a tale

That’s short but full of clout. 

 

Underwhelming, trite, or ugly 

Words need not apply. 

When we can paint a picture

of a man with words like spry. 

 

V is for the very late nights 

Spent behind a screen. 

It’s half past four, I’ll write one more,

Please, someone intervene!

 

W is “why” we write

When nothing else makes sense.

Or when we’re bored and dream up monsters

Hiding in our vents. 

 

Xtra words (and letters) should 

Get tossed into the street.

We’re like the bouncer in a club

Of words with giant feet. 

 

You and I are not the same,

But this is surely true:

The words we use can build a bridge

From you to me to you. 

 

Z is for the zeal and zen

That writing can provide. 

But please don’t make me spell zucchini (I did it!)

Although… I’ll eat it fried.